my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
