When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
