Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
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