your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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