quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
