Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
love makes seman taste better
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
