She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
