It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
