So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
