Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
