Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
