Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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