and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
