ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
