Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

do herpes really smell.

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(804): View more from Virginia

you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.

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(802): View more from Vermont

i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion

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(585): View more from New York

Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit

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(805): View more from California

I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️

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