There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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