Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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