dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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