it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you inspire me to be a worse person
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
