i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
