Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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