I smell stomach acid.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
