He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
