Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
