A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
