I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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