If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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