Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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