Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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