Jerry, you need to find god
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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