I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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