She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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