Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's never too late to be topless.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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