it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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