I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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