i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
