i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
