I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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