My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
