ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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