I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
