Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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