ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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