He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
