yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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