well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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