HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
