I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
