What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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