After last night, I could never be a politician.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
