The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I could fuck to npr.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
