drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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