he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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