FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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