I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
