I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
