sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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