ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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