Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
