Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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